K so i was diagnosed 1n sept. 2008 after a long time of waiting and test after test after test. I thought they would not find out what i had I went through Agiogram,MRI,Lumbar Punctures,all kinds of test on my heart too. They found over 36 small leasions on my brain they decided that it was Multiple Sclerosis. At first i thought what the heck does that mean i definatly can say i went into a horrible depression and it just got worse as the months went on. They put me on a medication called Rebif the thought of giving myself a shot 3 times a week freaked me out and i didnt think i would be able to do it,but they send a nurse out to see me and train me and really it is the smallest needle you can get it is a 29 gage which is very small so that helped and it has a autoinjecter which is so easy put it in push a button and your good so i love it i don't even have to see the needle until i am taking it out. I started to see a nerologist who put me on the rebif the only scary thing was is with MS it can attack anywhere in your body so sometimes i get random things but don't know if it is something else or if it the MS during the first probably 8 months i had a horrible time they were trying to get me stable on Medication to see what would work with me and at one point i was taking a handful of pills of all kinds and after starting a new medication my stumic bloted because the medication i was on caused a distended colon which wound me up in the hospital for one week and it was a horrible experiance i felt very alone and unbelively depressed i actually considered ending my life,I didn't know how to cope at all so will i was in hospital i was trying to figure out a way to end it (looking back now it was horrible and sad i got that close) I felt so alone like no one understood how i was feeling and i really felt like no one cared even though cayleb, the kids and my mom and dad came to see me a lot i felt more like a burden and life would be easier if i wssn't here to worry about and all the expences that come along with it. I stayed very depressed for several months and i just couldn't handle it. I am just now starting to deal but i have exasurbations every once in while which are scary like this last weekend i had one that caused my legs to go very weak and was not able to walk with out support very scary but doing alot better today i am very greatful things are getting better and i do hope they will continue to get better but it is late and i am going to head to bed but It sure makes you feel better to write you story and even i am excited to talk about my kids and basicly keep a jornal of what is going on in our family.